She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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