Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
