we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
