Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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