Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
