I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
