Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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