They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
His nipple licking is glorious
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