Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
