walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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