If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So much rum. So many feels.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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