She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
