Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
