hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
