WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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