i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
