I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
