Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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