ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Shame is for Republicans.
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