Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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