Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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