She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
