White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
