do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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