Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
