Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
