i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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