He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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