Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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