I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
