Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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