Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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