every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
