Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
