yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think your dad took our porno
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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