I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
