Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
