Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
