If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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