I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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