The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I look better un-naked...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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