we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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