sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I understand Curling. That high.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
