Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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