your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
