I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
