**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
