i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
