I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
