so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
