i already hear my dad disowning me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Boobs speak an international language.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
